Don't talk to me! I have my fuzzy slippers on, my Alice and Wonderland blanket out, and my 100 bulb crystal string lights dimmed low. I have never been so ready to watch Aladdin in my life.
"Arabian Night" might literally be the best theme song in all of history (the modified, somewhat less offensive version.) Why does my friend in the opening scene have on a turban that could hold ever thought I've ever had? I also never noticed that he has a thick accent, whereas Aladdin, Jasmine, and the Sultan speak a very common and Western sounding English.
When Jafar called the short, raspy man his pungent friend did he mean that the guy actually gives off a strong and unpleasant odor, or is it because he's a stinking thief? Also, the pungent friend said he had to "slit a few throats" to get that beetle. Is he kidding or... cause there are kids watching this.
Giroux, Warner, and Hiassen have ruined Disney for me forever. I don't know if Aladdin's sly comment "All this for a loaf of bread?" is merely supposed to be for comic relief, or if it is a stereotypical slight at the perceived barbaric nature of Middle Eastern civilizations.
Umm so, everybody has facial hair. Does Aladdin not have any because he's like the youngest male character, or is it because he's supposedly more Americanized than the other characters? But every other male has largely exaggerated facial features, bulbous noses and striking cheeks, and that is way too prominent to be a coincidence.
Jasmine is trying to run away from home with nothing. She lives in a palace, and she can't even bring a bag of fruit? A banana? A change of clothes?
Oh I see, she doesn't understand money. That's why she just stole an apple for no reason. But she can pole vault in between buildings. That makes perfect sense.
Iago is so likeable. That's bad, he's the pet parrot of the embodiment of evil. But he's so darn funny, his timing is awesome. Jafar on the other hand is not even a tiny bit likeable. He just looks evil. Maybe it is his incredibly slim face and evil grin, his lithe body and sneaky movements, but his appearance screams I am a powerful guy with maleficent intentions.
This mysterious old man in the dungeons also gives off that aura. Aladdin doesn't have a very good "untrustworthy soul" radar. Why does this "prisoner" have a handful of rubies, and if he knows how to get out why the hell is he in there for? Aladdin and Jasmine may be beautiful but they have the common sense of small toddlers.
First give me the lamp. Before I pull you to safety and stop you from plummeting to your death. Sound good? apparently to Aladdin.
God bless Robin Williams, and there's Pinocchio and Sebastian.
Did Jafar just say speechless was a good quality in a wife? Oh okay, he's evil and sexist.
Oh now we get smart and trick Jafar into becoming a genie! We're just conveniently a couple of geniuses.
I don't know Genie couldn't just make Aladdin a prince, but that doesn't matter. Jasmine was my favorite princess growing up, because she was the only one who could look anything close to like me. But, it is a really great movie.
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