The Ape Man

Let's watch Tarzan at 8:00 in the morning because that's healthy and conducive to my work schedule.

So I don't remember seeing Tarzan's parents when I first watched this, but they were stranded! Which makes a lot of sense, why else would they be in the middle of the jungle in Africa with a newborn baby. For some reason I thought their ship sank instead of being burned down? Unrelated note, I want to ask Disney why Tarzan looks exactly like his father without the mustache. And his parents built their own house in the jungle? Amazing.

Kala lost her baby too! I didn't remember that either. Wow, did I even watch this as a child or did I just sing the songs?

Child Tarzan is so cute. I feel bad for him, because his stepdad is like a prejudiced jerk. I don't like the scene where Kala tells him that he's no different from them, because that's a lie and that's why he goes to seek the comfort of the humans. He should have been taught to embrace his differences. But I guess there aren't many differences among gorillas.

Speaking of different Terk is a girl! Really Disney? Kala has distinctly feminine features because she is supposed to act as a mother figure. But Terk is "one of the guys" and has no obviously feminine characteristics because she's Tarzan's best friend and does not serve as a mother  figure or a love interest for anyone in the film. They even gave her a traditionally masculine sounding name. A woman shouldn't only have feminine characteristics to serve the purpose of a relationship with a man, Disney, gosh.

Tarzan killed the Sabor! Which is good because Sabor killed his parents, and he deserved it, but also good because it showed that he's a strong, protective member of his family. Kerchack doesn't come around but that doesn't matter. It also shows that Sabor is not a villain, because we need conflict! And in Disney conflict needs a bad guy.

And that bad guy is Clayton. Clayton just tried to shoot Tarzan!?! That's not something to take lightly. We're just going to pretend that, that didn't just happen? He says the word "savage" which is red flag language. He obviously... wants to shoot gorillas? These two idiots brought him to "protect" them while they study the gorillas and he wants to hunt them. I'm convinced every Disney film also needs an idiotic decision, or series of.

Tarzan is being a rebellious teenage boy, with an identity crisis. Who cares if there are creatures that look like you, they don't live or act like you do they? Of course Kala should have told him about other "creatures" like him. But Kerchack doesn't have that silver stripe on his back for no reason, strangers should be feared and avoided. Especially ones with loud, strange machines.

Tarzan fought a silverback gorilla. But he can't get free of two pirates? Don't pirates have
scurvy? They're not strong. Now we're in a steel dungeon. I don't know why Jane is saying Clayton betrayed "us". Tarzan didn't know any better. She and her father are just pretty blind and naïve.

What happens if they all out of love? How do they contact England? These are bad long term commitments.